Learning Empathy

I was born with Tetrology of Fallot, a rather complicated heart defect. When I was about four I was at UCLA for quite a while to recover from my open heart surgery (I was born and raised in Las Vegas, Nevada). For this story I don't remember feeling particularly awful, so maybe this was before the surgery.

I was in the playroom, which was smaller than the one I normally went to at Sunrise Hospital in Las Vegas, where I was born and raised. A little boy walked in and all of us kids were hesitant at best, scared at worst. He was there because he was born with very little bones in his face, requiring many operations.

The little boy looked around the room and at we kids that had scared looks like our face. I have a vague memory of him and a vague memory of being scared. I think my first thought of him was of E.T. While all of us kids looked scared, he looked extremely sad because all he wanted was to play with us.

My mom kneeled down to my height and suggested I play with him. I declined the offer. And my mom asked me how I felt when I wanted to play with someone and they didn't want to.

"His face may look a little scary to you but he's a little child just the rest of you kids. I think he would really appreciate it if you offered to play with him."

I guess since my mom wasn't afraid of him I grew braver and I ended up playing with him. I don't recall the actual playing but my mom said I made his day. Now and then the memory will creep in and I feel guilty for being afraid of him, but I was only four. I hope the operations went well for him and that he had a great life.

This is my first memory of being taught empathy, something I like to think I have in abundance. I read somewhere that it's around age four where kids are taught empathy and start to use it. Well, there's one memory of being taught it at any rate.

-ESJ